Which Wedding Traditions Did We Actually End Up Skipping?

Back in March, I made a bold declaration sharing the 18 wedding traditions that I would be skipping at my September 2021 wedding.

I got a lot of responses to that post – some people cheering me on and wishing they had skipped some of those things at their own weddings, and others telling me I’d regret not including certain traditions.

So now that the wedding has come and gone (read our full wedding story here!), it’s time to look back and see…

…did I actually stick to my guns and skip all those wedding traditions or am I full of sh*t? 

Of course, I say that very jokingly. I am so happy with how our wedding turned out – from initial planning through to the big day and wonderful honeymoon. Any changes that were made were ones I was very comfortable with.

Trust me, no one had to force me to carry a gorgeous bouquet of flowers!

But I thought it’d be fun to take a look back at where I was at in March and see how many traditions I really did skip. So below I’m going through all 18 traditions to let you know where we ended up.

Tradition I’d skip: Having a wedding planner

Reality: Does my mom count?

My mom really did become our wedding planner, venue coordinator, catering liaison, personnel manager, emotional support person, decorator, bartender, chef, guest contact and so much more.

She was with us every step of the way (in fact, her and I came up with the idea for the wedding venue before I even talked to Colin about it!).

The day truly would not have been possible without my mom and I am so grateful to her for all of the time, money, energy and thoughtfulness she put into our day.

I also want to shout out our other incredible parents who gave us so much wisdom and support, ran errands and helped us set up, and contributed financially to our day. Of course, it couldn’t have happened without them!

Wedding tradition I’d skip: Big guest list

Reality: A big virtual guest list

While we stuck to our numbers for our in-person celebration (21 guests), we did end up including other friends and family members virtually.

We were not originally planning to live stream our ceremony because I thought it’d be too much hassle. But it was worth it – and Colin handled almost all of the set up so it was almost hassle-free for me!

I wasn’t totally convinced during our few test runs but on the day, everything went smoothly. It was so nice to be able to share that special moment with people all over the world.

And it was fun to watch it back and know we will always have this memory of our wedding ceremony, since we didn’t hire a videographer.

Tradition I’d skip: Pre-wedding parties (bachelorette, engagement, shower, etc.)

Reality: Manicures & happy hour

I was pretty adamant that I didn’t want an engagement party, bridal shower or bachelorette party. But I did want any excuse to hang out with my loved ones, especially people who had come in from out of town for our wedding.

So my mom planned an awesome afternoon for the day before our wedding. First, we went for mani and pedis with a few ladies (the gents were invited but politely declined). I loved getting my nails done for the wedding while catching up with my Toronto family.

Then we headed to a nearby restaurant for happy hour drinks and appetizers, which the guys joined us for. It was such a fun and casual celebration – the perfect pre-wedding event!

Wedding tradition I said no to: Gift registry

Reality: Honeymoon registry

I’ve always been against a wedding registry for us because it just wasn’t practical. We’ve lived together since 2017 and at the time of our wedding, lived in a small, one-bedroom, furnished apartment. So we truly didn’t need any stuff.

(The irony is that a few weeks later we moved into a new apartment, and did need a bunch of stuff!)

But when people started to ask us about a registry or what we wanted for wedding gifts, we decided to put together a honeymoon registry.

And we were so blown away by how generous our friends and family near and far were towards our honeymoon! Thanks to them, we had the most amazing time in Montreal and Atlantic Canada.

Tradition I’d skip: Spending the night before the wedding apart

Reality: We spent the night before & day of together

This was one tradition I am so glad we skipped. I hate the idea that the couple has to spend the night before and most of the actual wedding day apart from one another. I couldn’t imagine not spending as much of my wedding day as possible with Colin.

It was so nice to go out for dinner together the night before, wake up together, have breakfast together, run a few last minute wedding errands together, and even get ready together.

We were really intentional about spending so much of our wedding weekend together and I think it was the best choice for us.

Wedding tradition I said no to: Arriving by limo

Reality: We walked!

We chose to stay at a gorgeous hotel that was a whole five minute walk away from our venue. So, of course, we walked!

On the way to the wedding, we took photos in Yaletown, while walking towards our venue. And at the end of the night, we walked back to the hotel with our dog, our box of wedding cards to read, and a to-go container of leftover sushi and cake!

Tradition I’d skip: Having a wedding party

Reality: Just the two of us

Everyone – from my mother in law to my therapist – seemed shocked that we weren’t going to have a wedding party or anyone stand up with us at our ceremony.

I’ve been in wedding parties and have totally loved the experience, but it wasn’t something Colin and I wanted to do for our day. Wedding parties can lead to a lot of drama – you have to rank your friends, choose outfits, manage more communication, etc.

And with our wedding being so small, it felt like all 21 of our guests were our wedding party. I loved that our ceremony was really about us two and our vows.

Wedding tradition I’d skip: Being given away

Reality: No aisle walk & no giving anyone away

This was truly one of the best decisions Colin and I made for our wedding day. Instead of being given away or doing an aisle walk at all, we started our ceremony at the front.

This way, there was no dramatic entrance. Colin and I were there to greet every single one of our guests and immediately it made our ceremony so personal and welcoming.

One of our favourites parts of the day was hugging every person as they came into the ceremony. It felt so much more comfortable and special to start our ceremony holding Colin’s hands and feeling the love from all of our guests.

Tradition I’d skip: Wearing a veil

Reality: I borrowed veil

I was never really anti-veil… I just didn’t see the point of one. I could take it or leave it!

And I knew I didn’t want to spend money on a veil I didn’t really care about and would only wear once. But I did think a veil could be a fun and pretty touch for the day.

So when my incredible friend, Andrea, offered to let me borrow her veil, I knew that was going to be the best option. Not only would I get to wear a veil without buying one, but I’d get to wear her veil and have a bit of her with me, since she couldn’t be there on our wedding day.

Thank you, Andy!

Wedding traditions we’d skip: Wedding rings

Reality: We got 1+ wedding ring

I did say in my original wedding tradition post that I wouldn’t be getting a wedding ring but Colin would. And, that’s what we stuck to.

I’ve continued to wear my engagement ring as my wedding ring (see photos of my ring in our engagement post!) and Colin now wears a silicone ring. We actually bought him a black and rose gold tungsten ring, which is the one we exchanged on our wedding day.

But since then he’s bought a pack of silicone rings, which he finds much more comfortable to wear and are better for his work at the hospital.

So technically we have six rings (my engagement ring, Colin’s tungsten ring and his four silicone ones) – good thing all of Colin’s rings were so cheap!

Tradition I’d skip: Wedding decor

Reality: We had some decor…

This is probably the tradition I changed my mind on the most. I had planned to have absolutely no decor, as our venue and the view from our venue were stunning on their own.

But I did end up caving when a few people (mostly my mom and Colin’s mom) thought we should have a few things around to make it feel more wedding-y.

We ended up with a few floral stands, flowers, a borrowed neon sign, and some cute lights and cacti that my mom set up.

Overall, it did all look gorgeous. But I do wish I could get back some of the hours I spent researching decor options…

Wedding tradition I’d skip: The bouquet toss and garter toss

Reality: No tosses, but I did have a bouquet!

Originally, I said I wasn’t going to have a bouquet. As much as I wanted one, I couldn’t justify the cost.

But my mother-in-law wasn’t having it. She offered to buy my bouquet and Colin’s matching boutonniere. And I happily said yes!

I absolutely loved my bouquet and it definitely made me feel like such a bride in our photos. I also love having the arrangement in our home as I’ve since dried the flowers and put them in a decorative vase.

Traditions I’d skip: Seating charts, place cards and other wedding signs

Reality: A few signs slipped in…

I think wedding signage has gotten out of control. As much as I love beautiful calligraphy and funny wedding puns, I think most guests can find the bathroom or bar without a sign to lead the way.

That being said, we did have a few signs at our wedding. We had a sign telling people where to find the beer/cider, as it was in a fridge under the counter.

We had signs labelling all the different food, and one asking guests to sign our guest book map. And we had name tags on all of our ceremony chairs as we did assigned seating.

Were all our signs necessary? Probably not. But we didn’t go overboard and didn’t spend too much money on them. All of the signs were purchased at the dollar store and I did the handwriting myself.

Tradition I’d skip: Wedding cake

Reality: We had fruit, donuts & cake in jars!

Colin and I definitely didn’t want everyone to crowd around and take our photo while we cut into a cake together and then smushed it into each other’s face – it’s a tradition I’ve never really understood.

And we definitely didn’t want to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a fancy wedding cake. But we did want some delicious dessert!

So after a lot of research and multiple dessert tastings, we ended up with cake jars, donuts and a fresh fruit bouquet.

We probably spent longer than I would have liked finding the best options and figuring out deliveries but in the end, the dessert was so tasty!

Wedding tradition I’d skip: Having a DJ or band

Reality: We had a live musician and DJ Spotify

We did stick with our original plan to create a Spotify playlist and use our Bluetooth speaker from home.

It was really fun to put together our playlist in the months leading up to our wedding, and it worked out well just to have the music playing off a speaker for our low-key reception.

However, at the last minute, we were gifted a live musician! Colin’s mom generously paid to have an incredible musician, Paul Filek, play music during our ceremony, the beginning of our reception and for our first dance and parent dance.

Check out my wedding story post for all the details!

Tradition I said no to: Wedding videographer

Reality: We just used Zoom and our phones

Once we decided to live stream our ceremony, I did think about hiring a videographer or a professional streaming company. But in the end, we DIY-ed it and I think it worked out perfectly!

Colin handled all of the tech heavy lifting to figure out how to live stream our ceremony through Zoom and YouTube. And we simply used my phone and a tripod to record the speeches.

While it was a bit stressful to figure out how everything was going to work, I’m glad we saved money and will still have this awesome memory of our wedding to watch in the years to come.

Wedding tradition I’d skip: Favours

Reality: But how cute are these candles?

So, to be fair, we didn’t buy any favours. I still don’t think wedding favours are necessary and certainly not something to stress about adding to your wedding day.

But my mom did buy these adorable cactus candles that doubled as decor and favours. At the end of the night, guests got to take a candle – as well as leftover food and drink – home with them, which I think was a nice touch!

Tradition I’d skip: Changing my name after marriage

Reality: I’m still probably not

Okay, so I blocked out the personal details in the photo above, but that is our official marriage certificate where my name is still the same name I was given almost 30 (!) years ago.

I haven’t changed my last name and I likely won’t. Honestly, it’s just too much paperwork!

I also like the idea of keeping my identity and pushing back on the tradition that the woman in a hetero relationship has to change her name.

I do wish our province made it easier to do a hybrid last name or move some last names to my middle name, as I think that’s something both Colin and I could do, but anything other than taking your spouse’s last name is a more complicated legal process.

So, until then, I’m remaining Riana Ang-Canning!

Wrapping up: How many wedding traditions did we end up skipping?

All right, so by my calculations, I’d say of the 18 wedding traditions I said we were going to skip…we actually ended up skipping about 10-12. So, not too bad!

As I said off the top, our wedding day was pretty amazing and I truly have no regrets about any of the decisions we made.

Any traditions we skipped or included worked perfectly for us, and that’s really all that matters!