7 Tips for Managing Finances as a Couple

Managing finances as a couple can be one of the most daunting, uncomfortable and stressful tasks that couples have to face. There’s a reason why money issues are a huge cause of divorce!

But managing your finances together doesn’t have to be this horrible, uncomfortable and scary situation. It can actually – dare I say it – be a lot of fun!

When you can be open with your partner, set goals together and use money as a tool to achieve those goals, financial conversations become a whole lot more exciting and joy-filled.

I can truly say that being able to talk openly about finances with my husband is one of the things I am most proud of in our relationship and one of the things that makes me most confident in our future together.

I know couples who own houses, have kids and who have been together for decades but still don’t know how much debt their partner has, how much income their partner earns or how to manage their joint finances. Yikes!

So below I’m sharing 7 tips for managing finances as a couple. My goal isn’t to tell you what bank accounts to open or what stocks to invest in, but rather how to get on the same page and remove some of the fear and negativity around your finances.

Regardless of how you decide to share finances or who the breadwinner is, my hope is these tips will help you manage your money wisely and feel better about your joint finances!

Author’s note: All of my tips below are based on my personal experience managing money with my partner. They should not be taken as financial advice or applicable to everyone. I also recognize that my partner and I are extremely privileged to be having these financial conversations at all!

---

1. Get over the taboo of talking about money with your partner

There is a HUGE taboo around money. No one talks about money!

You don’t compare credit scores and RRSP (or IRA) contributions with your besties over brunch. It’s not appropriate to ask how much someone makes or how much they spent on their house.

Society has taught us that it’s bad to talk about money. So the first step to managing money as a couple successfully is to get over this taboo.

Fight the societal norm that tells you money is evil and it’s bad to talk about. Money is not inherently good or evil. And neither is talking about it.

2. Be honest about your personal finances

When it comes to relationship finances, you need to be ready to be totally open, honest and vulnerable.

This is a big ask – especially if you’re uncomfortable with your own finances, have some money skeletons in the closet or have a history of money trauma.

But honesty is the best policy, especially if you’re talking to your partner and working to combine your lives.

An alarming number of married couples have no idea how much their spouse makes or what their spouse’s debt is like. If this is someone you are legally tied to or someone you’re building a life with, you should know what’s happening in their wallet.

Your first talk about couple’s finances should begin with laying your cards out on the table. Colin and I started by going over our money histories; we shared our philosophies about money, how we were raised with money, and how we view it today.

Next, we got into the numbers. We shared with one another our bank statements, income, debts, budgets and everything else.

Make your money talks a judgment-free zone!

Because money is so taboo and so many of us have complicated histories with money – whether that be how we were raised to view money, bad spending habits or some financial decisions we wish we hadn’t made – it can be hard to talk about.

So it’s important that you and your partner establish a judgment-free zone. You are both doing something very brave by sharing your money stories and numbers with each other.

Before you share, set some ground rules. Agree that you are both going to stay calm, give each other grace and offer support. Rather than blaming or accusing, agree that you’ll ask questions and take breaks if you need to.

Even if you totally disagree with what your partner shares, this isn’t the time for arguments. The goal of this first conversation is to be able to share openly and trust that your partner won’t judge you or else your future conversations will go nowhere.

Once you’ve established an environment of trust, you can then start discussing changes and plans for your finances. But step one is just to share, no judgment needed!

3. Set goals for your finances as a couple

One reason why money has a negative connotation is because it’s always talked about in terms of scarcity. We talk about not having enough money, things being too expensive, feeling broke, stressing over budgets, etc.

Which is completely understandable, because have you seen the prices these days??

Instead, try to follow the philosophy that money is a tool. It’s something you can use to help you achieve your goals.

To start to see money as a tool, set a number of short term and long term goals. Dream big and think about what you want your lives to look like in the future.

In my opinion, this is one of the most fun parts of managing finances as a couple. As someone who is always planning for the future, I love thinking about places we can travel and exciting lives we can lead!

When you focus on your goals, money isn’t just this thing you’re scared of or never have enough of. You can see how you’re managing your money so that you can pay off debts, move abroad, buy a rental property, retire early, etc.

Even if your goals feel far away, it’s a lot more motivating to pay off your credit cards and add to your savings account knowing that you’re on your way to Paris – rather than just saving and paying off debt for the sake of it.

One of the big goals Colin and I had was to go on a trip during our parental leave. We were able to save up and go on our big Baby Trip in 2025/2026. You can check out exactly what that family trip cost us here.

4. Decide how you want to share finances

When Colin and I first started talking about our relationship finances, we generally split things up 50/50. But depending on your plans for how to manage money with your partner, you may have a different approach.

Some couples prefer to split things based on percentages of income: If one person makes more money, they contribute a higher percentage to shared expenses.

Some couples like to pool all of their money together in a joint checking account while others prefer to keep it all separate.

I don’t think there’s one right way for all couples to handle their finances – there’s just the right way for you.

When we first moved in together, Colin and I split our shared expenses 50/50 and continued to maintain separate personal accounts. We used our joint account for our living expenses (mortgage, property taxes, strata fees, hydro, internet) and food (groceries and eating out).

For everything else, like our own personal shopping, going out with friends, cellphone bills, etc., we used our personal accounts.

We decided to both contribute equally to the joint account because our money situations were similar (Colin did make more than me but he also had more debt, so we called it even).

As time went on, we found ourselves pouring more of our money into the joint account and buying fewer things out of our separate accounts.

Eventually, we decided sharing finances 100% was the best method for us. We moved everything into a joint bank account and while I resisted the transition at first, it has been a much less stressful method.

We’ve been managing our money jointly for years now, with a few tweaks, and it really works for us. Because we talk about money and spending often, we’ve built a lot of trust and are able to enjoy the ease of joint accounts.

How to decide how to split finances as a couple

As I said above, there’s no one right way for every couple to split up their finances. But how do you find the way that works best for you?

Obviously, this is going to vary a lot based on your situation. Are you newly dating, engaged, newly married or have you been married for a long time? Do you both work? Do you have children or mortgages to consider?

I think the best method for figuring out how you and your partner should split your finances is 1) lots of conversations and 2) trial and error.

Start out by talking through the different methods – completely separate finances, some joint and some separate finances, or completely joint finances. How do you feel about each one? What are your concerns? What would these methods look like practically in your relationship?

Give yourselves lots of time to think through the different methods, do some research and come back together to talk through any questions or concerns. You don’t have to decide in one sitting!

Once you’ve narrowed it down to a method you’re both okay with, give it a try. Agree that you don’t have to stick with this method forever. Your finances – much like your relationship – will change over time and it’s okay to try out something new.

Now that you have your new method, make sure you’re following up with each other. How are you both feeling about it after a month, three months, a year? Do you need to make any changes? Are problems coming up that you hadn’t anticipated?

5. Schedule regular meetings to manage your money and make financial decisions together

This is my #1 tip for managing finances as a couple: You need to schedule money meetings.

I know that sounds really lame, but it’s so important. Money isn’t something you talk about once and you’re done. A money meeting is a regular check in and time to share about your finances.

For Colin and I, we do our money meetings on the last day of the month. We both share what our bank accounts and budgets are looking like, invest or save any money we can, plan for the next month’s expenses, and talk about any of our financial goals or concerns.

Surprisingly, we both look forward to our money meetings. I enjoy putting our numbers together and seeing where we’re at. And it’s awesome being able to contribute to savings or investment goals – especially in the fun colour-coordinated spreadsheet Colin made!

It’s super important that you have these meetings scheduled ahead of time. That way, it’s not one person who feels like the “bad guy” for bringing up money and wanting to talk about it.

Resentment can build if it feels like one partner is nagging the other about money all the time or one partner is trying to avoid talking about money at all. Put the money meetings in your calendar and avoid all that!

Bonus: If money meetings are tough – and they can be at the beginning – find ways to make them fun. This could be as simple as keeping track of your numbers in a fun journal or going out for ice cream after each monthly meeting.

6. Educate yourselves on the best ways to manage money

Once you’ve had that tough first conversation about money, created goals and set up regular money meetings, you’re already doing better than most couples at managing your relationship finances.

But I think you can do better.

Take the next step in your money lives by seeking out some personal finance education. You can start small – like with my personal finance tips – and move on from there.

You don’t have to enrol in a course or learn everything there is to know about personal finance; even a bit more knowledge is better than none.

You can stay on the same page as your partner by seeking out these finance resources together.

Decide to read from the same personal finance book, subscribe to the same podcast or newsletter, or watch the same YouTube channel. You can then discuss what you’ve learned over dinner.

In 2023, Colin and I worked our way through a personal finance journal. It was fun to go through the activities and dive deeper into some of our goals. I’ll be honest – we didn’t finish it – but we did get about 50 pgs worth of fun and learning out of it!

By keeping the conversation going and engaging in these resources together, you’ll both feel better about your financial situation. The onus also won’t be on one partner to do all the learning and become a teacher for the other partner.

7. Remember who you’re with and what it’s all about

At the end of the day, remember that you are managing money with your partner, the person you love and who loves you. It can be easy to get lost in the numbers, but remember who this is.

You’re not just looking at some debt or insurance policy; you’re looking at the person you’re building your life with. Keep the focus on your shared goals and overcoming financial obstacles together, rather than keeping a laundry list of all of their money mistakes.

That first money meeting can be awkward and kind of scary. But I promise that they get easier. In fact, they even become fun! And the best part of that is you get to have this fun activity with your partner all about the joint future you’re building.

They say money is the biggest thing that comes between couples and leads to divorce. When you’re deciding how to best manage money with your partner, remember who you’re with and why you’re doing this.

---

Do you have any tips for managing finances as a couple?