10 Reasons to Have a Micro Wedding

As you may have heard, we are planning a wedding! My partner, Colin, and I got engaged in October 2020 and are planning a non-traditional wedding for fall 2021.

One of the non-traditional things we’re doing is having a micro wedding. A micro wedding is basically just a smaller wedding with a reduced guest list. It’s usually up to 50 people, but definitions can vary. These smaller celebrations are also called intimate weddings or elopements, though elopements usually refer to an even smaller guest list (or no guests at all).

I would say our wedding is falling somewhere between an elopement and a micro wedding. We’re planning on about 20-25 guests, covid-willing.

Back in the day, eloping or having a small wedding meant running off to Vegas to get married in secret with just a few friends. But in recent years, and definitely throughout the pandemic, many couples have decided on smaller celebrations that don’t involve getting married in secret or having Elvis sign your marriage licence.

Below, I’m sharing 10 reasons why you might want to have a micro wedding. Of course, I understand smaller weddings are not for everyone. Some people really love the idea of throwing a huge party.

But the big, white wedding is not for everyone – and it’s certainly not for me – so I’m choosing something smaller instead.

A micro wedding saves money

One of the biggest reasons to have a micro wedding is because it’s a lot cheaper than a full-size wedding. The average wedding costs over $30,000. That’s a huge chunk of change! Do you know how many trips I could go on for that much money? I can’t imagine spending that much on a one day celebration.

A micro wedding saves money because you have less people to feed, a smaller venue to book, less decor to put up, etc. I would much rather scale back the guest list and the final price tag with a micro wedding. I wouldn’t want to go into debt or seriously change/delay any of our long term life plans in order to afford a huge wedding.

You can put money into other parts of the wedding

The nice thing about a micro wedding is that while it will cost you less than a larger wedding, you still have the option to splurge where you want to. Instead of using $30,000 to get 200 people a boring plate of chicken for dinner, you could put $5000 into an amazing steak dinner for 20. With a micro wedding, it’s easier to splurge on high-quality things because you don’t have to provide a huge quantity.

This is also a really cool opportunity to put money into the things that matter to you. If you’re a foodie, splurge on the food. If you pride yourself on your home bar, create an epic cocktail station. Go big on flowers if you love florals or put it all into the honeymoon if you love to travel.

It’s easier to personalize your day

On the same note, a smaller guest list means easier options for personalization. A lot of weddings get described as “cookie-cutter” because they have the standard elements we have all seen at weddings before. Which makes sense, because it’s hard to be creative and make your day uniquely yours when you have to host 200+ people. And if you do go the extra mile to personalize elements of your wedding, it can cost a lot more money.

One way that Colin and I have already begun personalizing our day is with our invites and save the dates. Instead of mass-printing hundreds of the exact same card, we were able to print out individual cards, adding personalized notes to our guests and design elements that reflect us.

You may actually remember your day

Many newlyweds say that their wedding day went by in a blink of an eye. It was a huge blur of hairspray, photos, endless hugs and clinking glasses. They know they had a great time…but they can’t quite remember all of the little details.

The nice thing about a micro wedding is that because it’s smaller, there’s generally just less to do. Fewer hours of hair and makeup to sit through, less people to hug, fewer speeches and less on the wedding day itinerary. You’ll have a better chance of being present for all the moments, and committing them to memory, because there won’t be as much going on.

You’re not the centre of attention in a big group

For some, this is a con but for me, it’s a huge pro. The idea of 200 pairs of eyes watching as I walk into a room, say my vows and try not to trip over my dress during the first dance sounds horrible. I’m already nervous thinking about saying my vows out loud in front of just a few people, but I would be petrified if it was a big audience.

I don’t want all eyes on me. Colin and I are both introverts. We don’t love hanging out in big groups – it exhausts us. And when we are in big groups, we certainly don’t like being at the centre of attention. Having a micro wedding helps us avoid a big group atmosphere that would just make us uncomfortable.

Micro weddings are less traditional

If the traditional wedding in North America is the ceremony at a church followed by a hotel ballroom reception, micro weddings help you get away from that mould. Of course, you can still have a small wedding at a church and a hotel ballroom, but because you don’t need a space big enough for hundreds of people, you have more options.

Just the fact that you’re not inviting all of your first and second cousins to your wedding already makes your wedding pretty non-traditional. Since you’re throwing the rules for the guest list out the window, you can throw out other traditions too. One thing we’re doing? Serving pizza and sushi instead of a traditionally catered meal, since those are our favourite foods!

Micro weddings can be less stressful

Wed stress is real! And unfortunately, it often falls on the bride’s shoulders (in a hetero couple). Wed stress can be about anything: in-laws who are being difficult, a florist who won’t call you back, a budget that refuses to stretch, a partner who won’t help, or a groomsman who drops out at the last minute.

Having a micro wedding doesn’t guarantee a stress-free wedding planning experience, but it can certainly help! When you don’t have as big a wedding to plan, you get to cut back on a lot of wedding decisions, which means less opportunity for stress. For example, we’re skipping having a wedding party, since it would end up being half of our guests standing up there with us. So we get to skip all of the wedding party drama of choosing outfits, coordinating schedules, managing different personalities, etc.

Micro weddings can be more casual

A smaller guest list means you can more easily host a casual wedding. 200 people in your parents’ backyard while your dad flips burgers on the grill? That sounds like a tight squeeze and a lot of hungry people. But 20 people? Much more doable!

Of course, big weddings can be casual too. But it’s easier to go casual when you keep the wedding small. You could host a backyard reception, have a picnic in the park or take up a few tables at your favourite local restaurant.

You can spend time with your guests

This is one of the best parts about a micro wedding, in my opinion. By having a small guest list, and a more casual and non-traditional day, I’m going to get to spend time with my guests. So many couples complain that their wedding day was so big, busy and rushed that they barely said two words to anyone outside of their wedding party. I’m sure you’ve been to a wedding where the closest you got to a conversation with the newlyweds was a smile exchanged across a crowded dance floor.

I’m really looking forward to actually being able to chat with all of our guests, because we have so few. I value being able to have conversations with these people, and not just a passing greeting. Especially as this may be the first time we’ve seen a lot of these people since pre-covid (and pre-Prague!), spending that time together is extra important to me.

You can spend time with each other

Not only does a micro wedding allow you to spend time with all of your guests, but it allows you to spend time with your partner! I’ve been to weddings where the couple practically spends the entire day apart. They get ready separately, take photos with their respective sides of the wedding party, and then spend all of the reception trying to see all of their guests with no clue where their spouse is.

On my wedding day, I actually want to spend time with the person I’m going to marry! Colin and I plan to spend the whole day together, from waking up in the same hotel room and taking photos with Ellie to hanging out at our reception side by side. We won’t be glued to one another but we will have moments throughout the day that are just for us two.

Cons of having a micro wedding

While I think micro weddings are awesome and it’s definitely the right fit for us, there are some downsides to a smaller celebration:

• You can’t invite everyone. A smaller guest list means leaving out a lot of people you really love and want to celebrate with. Those people may feel excluded and you don’t get that feeling of having everyone you love under one roof.
• There’s not as much fanfare. Even though I don’t like being the centre of attention, I have to admit that it is fun to talk about our wedding. I’m not upset about not having an engagement party, shower or bachelorette, but I know some people would miss those events. Of course, just because you’re having a smaller wedding doesn’t mean you can’t have those parties, but they’re less common. It can be considered rude to invite people to pre-wedding parties but not the actual wedding.
• You’ll have to make tough decisions and may get pushback. Not everyone will understand why you’re choosing to elope or go micro. You might get a lot of pushback, especially if you’re the first in your family to do something like this. It can be very difficult to stick to your guns when your friends or family don’t understand and support you.
• You may not have another opportunity for a big party. A lot of people consider their wedding their one chance to throw a big party and worry they’ll regret doing something smaller. Of course, you can have a big party anytime! And it might actually be more fun, less stressful and less expensive to do it as a birthday party, vow renewal, New Year’s Eve celebration, etc. instead of a wedding.

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So have I convinced you to have a micro wedding? I’m kidding, of course. Even though my reasons were super convincing, I know a micro wedding is not for everyone. But if you’re thinking about doing something non-traditional or different for your wedding, I hope you go for it!

 

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