What to Do When You Hate a Place
In the world of travel blogs, it’s almost always sunshine and rainbows. Everyone talks about how much they loved going to all of these perfect places where they had a wonderful well-documented-on-Instagram time. But what happens when you hate a place?
It happens. Not every location is going to be as magical as the next or the one before.
The reason we have favourite cities and dream destinations is because they pale in comparison to places that didn’t quite live up to the hype or sorely let us down – the places we end up hating.
So what do you do when you arrive and figure out you hate a place?
Realize: You won’t love everywhere
If you are lucky enough to travel to many places all over the world, you’ll need to come to terms with the fact that you just won’t love every place. And that’s fine! Even if you’ve been talking about your trip to Switzerland for months and have all of these beautiful Instagram photos planned, you may get there and realize you hate it. It happens!
Travel is real life. Despite all the filters and positivity-bursting blogs, shit happens. Sometimes places suck.
And remember, not every place is for every person. For example, I really loved the time I spent in Naples (or, more accurately, I loved the time I spent eating everything in Naples). But I constantly hear people say they hated Naples and telling future Italy-goers to skip it. On the other hand, I felt pretty underwhelmed touring the Mekong Delta from Saigon, but some people love it.
Question it
Before you totally give into the darkness, ask yourself some questions. Why do you hate this place? What part of it do you not like? Question if it’s the place itself or if something else is going on. Maybe you’re burnt out from travelling or just having a bad travel day. Maybe you got in a fight with your travel companion or you’re stressed about work. Or maybe, like me, you got an awful sore throat and runny nose while on a tropical island in Thailand.
Accept it
If after all that questioning you still decide you don’t like a place, that is totally fine. Accept it. You are allowed to hate a place. Don’t worry, the place you hate will not be offended. I’m sure Phuket is doing just fine without me as a fan.
Don’t force yourself to fall in love with it – no matter what the pretty social media posts say! Sometimes we just don’t mesh with a place and that is perfectly all right. If you do force it, you may find yourself hungry, near tears and ready to pass out in a crowded, overheated, never-ending market in Bangkok. And that’s certainly no way to fall in love with a place.
Make the best of it
If it wasn’t clear from the line above, I did not enjoy my time in Bangkok. To be blunt: I hated Bangkok. But, I was stuck there. We had three nights in Bangkok during our trip to Southeast Asia and I had to suck it up.
Make the best of a shitty place by finding something you do love about it. In Bangkok, we made it out to the Grand Palace and Wat Pho. In my research on Bangkok, these were some of the things I wanted to see. And despite hating the large city, awful traffic and gross humidity, I did enjoy exploring those sites.
And the things you choose to do don’t have to be from a guide book. If you find yourself in Paris and hating it, don’t force yourself to go to the Louvre or Sacre Coeur just because Google tells you to. Find something that you love and make the most of your time there. When I was in Geneva, Switzerland and hating it, we hopped a bus to Annecy, France and had a much better time.
Take a break
Sometimes, landing in a place you hate can actually be a blessing in disguise. This may be the universe’s way of telling you that you need to take a break.
When Colin and I arrived in Phuket, we got off to a pretty rocky start. After leaving our first hotel and paying probably too much money for a new one, we were again hit with disappointment by the long trek to the crowded beach, me getting sick, and a general vibe from the city that we didn’t like. So we decided to take advantage of the expensive hotel room (and wonderful air conditioning) that we had paid for.
We caught up on Netflix shows, binging both Fyre Festival documentaries and the Ted Bundy Tapes. We ordered Pizza Hut to our hotel. We slept in late. And it was great. It was a wonderful break after long days at Angkor in Siem Reap and before more exploring in Chiang Mai.
Learn from it
Travel may start to lose its appeal if we go around hating one place more than the next. So if you do end up in a place you hate, learn from the experience so you can try to avoid something similar happening again. Of course, you won’t avoid it completely. You will hate a place again!
But ask yourself what you didn’t like about it. For us, in Bangkok, we realized we didn’t love big, crowded cities, especially in the heat. And in Phuket, we learned that we’re really not beach-resort people. So we’ll try to avoid places like these in the future.
And just because you hate a place, doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind in the future. I would be happy to revisit Phuket if I could stay in a different town or spend time on the smaller islands nearby. And I think if I had a larger wallet, I would want to give Geneva, Switzerland another shot.
But Bangkok? I think we’re done. The only way I can see enjoying Bangkok is if the heat is turned way down, which I don’t think will be happening anytime soon. So not going back to a place you hate is also a totally valid option. I really don’t think Bangkok is going to miss me.
Be honest, have you ever been somewhere that you hated? What do you do when you hate a place?
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Hmm, can’t say I have hated any places in my travels to date, but then I haven’t travelled to many places really, but that’s all relative I know. There are places I know I have no interest in going back to, and there are places I would be happy to go back to, so that’s a telling sign. I have always loved the west coast…be it Vancouver or the islands in BC, or Seattle, WA, Portland, OR and definitely Santa Barbara, CA and many cities in CA, West Coast has always been near and dear to my heart. East Coast, not so much, but still happy to head back to Boston, MA, Maine, parts of Florida, but it wouldn’t be my first choice of travel destinations. In Europe, I loved London the couple of times I have been, loved Gent, Belgium, Moscow and Zelenograd were quite cool (literally cold at the time too), Berlin is awesome!, Munich is cute as well as the surrounding areas: Stuttgart, Tübingen and Heidelberg, not so keen on Frankfurt though. Amsterdam was super cool. The 3 cities in Italy were great: Venice, Rome and Florence, with a side trip to Sienna. Paris believe it or not was quite a let down for me, although I am willing to give it another shot without the expectations I had the first time almost 18 yrs ago now. Actually,it will be exactly 18 yrs in Sept as I was there when 9/11 happened in 2001. Oh, have loved Tokyo too, and need to go back on a personal trip and not work trip next time. Hawaii is another one to head back to, but not before so many other places i haven’t been…like the Far East, Africa, OZ/NZ many parts of Europe too.
I am sure I will run into a place I hate 😜
That’s a good attitude! Maybe it’s more when you’re hitting a bunch of places around the same time and one pales in comparison to the others. The heat is definitely a factor too. I’m sure if Bangkok was 20 degrees I would’ve liked it a lot more!
Love this post. The last night we were in Marrakech we had a guy at our riad order us Pizza Hut and we watched random TV. Sometimes you just need a taste of back home!
Thanks so much, Chelsea! I so feel the need for a Pizza Hut break every now and then!
I always travel with an open heart and open mind but there were instances where I just could not vibe with a destination – like when I went to Phu Quoc last year. The island isn’t bad but locals seem aloof and restaurants tend to overcharge foreigners. We were there for four days and I never felt relieved when I got back home.
I enjoyed my time in Phu Quoc but didn’t get out much. I pretty much went to the beach and then back to my hotel room to binge watch Gilmore Girls and catch up on my freelance work. But totally understand not vibing with a place. It sucks but it happens. I think that’s just the reality of life – the reality of travel. Not every place is going to be awesome, but that’s what helps us differentiate the places we truly love.
Surprised you didn’t like Bangkok since it’s high on my list! And these pictures are absolutely amazing. I hate humidity too though. If you don’t like humidity then avoid Washington DC in the summer like the plague! It’s awful here. I try to stay inside as much as possible.
I read a lot of blogs and try to target like-minded people so I get an idea if I’ll like a place or not. It’s pretty easy for me since I’m into history, and if someone’s interested in history too, it’s a bit obvious by the time they spend and what they talk about. I didn’t like Monaco but that wasn’t surprising for me. Everyone’s different 🙂
Thanks, Lilly! I definitely want to give Bangkok another try. I think with more energy, in better weather and with a better idea of what to do, I’d enjoy it more.
I can’t say I’ve been to places I’ve hated. It already happened not loving as much as I thought it was going to. Anyways I think it’s was my high expectations that ruined the experience. As you say: take the best of it! And embrace the fact that not all is perfect
Yes, I know “hate” is a strong word. I like your perspective!
I think the only place I can say I strongly disliked was Miami. I just haven’t had much luck there. But I had to go back over and over to work at conferences, so I did find little aspects I enjoyed. I tend to travel with the idea of “Could I live here”, so I really try to see a place more from a local perspective. Contrary to many travelers, my travel list was shortened during COVID. I really want to spend more time in a few certain places rather than hit as many countries as possible.
Glad you could make the most of Miami! I’ve never been but would like to check it out one day. And I love your new philosophy for travel after going through COVID. Totally makes sense to focus on areas that will bring you the most joy!
I hated, loathed, and detested Pula, Croatia. I know it was more about the 45 C heat, the strange AirBnB located at the wrong port and lacking air conditioning, a particular group of overly friendly local men, missing meals, and a cascade of travel snafus but it all came together in a perfect storm. Perhaps if I’d had some pizza and an air-conditioned hotel room it wouldn’t be on my permanent “Do Not Return” list.
Thanks for checking out the post, Lyn! I hear you about the perfect storm – sometimes it’s not the destination but everything else that goes wrong. I hope to visit Pula one day but will heed your warning and at least look for AC and a good meal!